Although this is a parody, i actually see some reality in this skit.
Satire & Humor About Tithing & Giving
As a child, I remember reading pamphlets called "Readers Digest". One of the mantras that I recall in the publication said, "Laughter is the best medicine". Amid all the politics, crime, and horrors of the world, we forget about the simple things in life that can bring us joy. Although some articles may poke fun at our own beliefs, we should learn to laugh at ourselves every now and then. It's healthy for the soul. Overall, this site does use a lot of hyperbole to get the message across. For instance, the articles titled "Tithing is for..." is meant to grab your attention. It's fun and it's thought provoking. Enjoy life to its fullest.
Tic Tac Tithing Game
Who wants to spend quality time with the family playing the Tic Tac Tithing Game? What is the Tic Tac Tithing Game you say?! Well here’s a link to the website here, and what it says about the game below.
Tic Tac Tithing is a fun game played as a group such as a family or a primary class. Teach about how we show love for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when we pay tithing. This is a fun and easy gospel game for anytime, as an LDS Primary Lesson Activity, or for Family Home Evening.
I’m sure this game will be fun and keep the family entertained for hours upon hours. Limited Quantities are available, so you better hurry before it’s too late!!
Billboards, Bumper Stickers, & Signs About Tithing
There comes a time when driving home from work during that evening, in bumper-to-bumper traffic that a Church sign catches your eye. Normally, you just keep traveling at 65 m.p.h (“Miles Per Hour” – for you non-Americans) in that 45 m.p.h zone, but since traffic has slowed you down to 25, you take the time to read the eternal words of wisdom from that Church sign.
Once you read it, a few judgmental thoughts might come to mind. One, you wonder if it took them a long time to come up with that clever, analogous poem. A different thought could be that they would have been better off stealing that clever poem from the other Church down the road. Or the other thought might be something completely random; because the bible verse on the billboard about ‘living bread’ made you wonder about what you are going to have for dinner tonight.
So what’s the point here? I don’t know either, but i want to cover 4 different types of church signs that you’ll see about giving money and tithing.
I. The Get Rich Quick Billboard
copyright http://thedissidentblog.wordpress.com/
This is the one that will make you think that tithing and coming to church is like joining a pyramid scheme that promises their secrets will get you rich (. . . hmmm, i wonder if that could be the theme for a new blog post? )
II. The Political Bumper Sticker
copyright http://www.zazzle.com/
Mama said, no religion and politics at the dinner table, so that gives you the liberty to turn your car into a political and religious motorized billboard. I gotta say this is kind of my favorite. At least i think it’s the funniest. Yes, i vote republican, and no i wouldn’t dare put a bumper sticker on my car or a yard sign in front of my house. Although i am proud that i vote conservative, i do not like to instigate anyone to vandalize my property.
III. The Hostile Church Sign
copyright http://www.travisagnew.org/
Here’s a few things i’m wondering:
– I wonder if that kind of seems like a threat?
-I wonder if their ushers pack any firearms under their suits?
– I wonder if it’s God that needs the cash or if it’s Earl R. Stinson?
– I wonder if he takes credit card?
IV. The Arrogant Church Sign
This is the sign that wants to better than the other Christians who came up with the bumper sticker that said, “honk if you love Jesus”
. . . Anybody know of any other good Church signs? . . .
Shipwrecked Tithe Joke
Enjoy the shipwrecked Tithe Joke below
Two men were shipwrecked near an island. When they landed ashore, one of them began screaming and yelling, “We’re going to die! We’re going to die! There’s no food! No water! We’re going to die!”
The second man leaned calmly against a palm tree.
When the first man saw how calm his friend was, he went crazy and shouted, “Don’t you understand?! We’re going to die!!”Undisturbed, the second man replied, “You don’t understand, I make $100,000 a week.”
Dumbfounded, the first man looked at him and asked, “What difference does that make?!? We’re on an island with no food and no water! We’re going to DIE!!!”
The second man answered, “You just don’t get it. I make $100,000 a week and I tithe ten percent on that $100,000 a week. Wherever I am, my pastor will be sure to find me!”
Introducing the TELEVANGOLY Board Game
First, Choose your Edition
Moyce Jeyer Edition
Cope Kenland Edition
Dreflo Collar Edition
Henny Binn Edition
(CLICK TO ENLARGE AND SEE DETAILS)
Now, Choose your game pieces
Finally, Start Playing
(Click board to ENLARGE and see details)
Official Rules of Televangoly
The object of the game televangoly of course is to gain as much money and property as possible. Players must choose their favorite game piece and roll the dice to go around the board. If you are caught for tax fraud, go directly to jail, do not pass go do not collect your million dollars. The first person to monopolize the game and take everyone’s money is the winner. Now remember that your opponents are just sowing their seed to you, so make sure you give them a 1-800 number to call and pledge.
If you land on community plate, this is an opportunity for you to capitalize on all of the gifts that have been pouring into your ministry. So pick a community plate card off the board, and cross your fingers. If you land on chance, you have an opportunity to pick a card from the “chance” pile. Remember these can be good and bad cards. But if you get a bad and owe some money, you can always hold a pimp-a-thon on the Total Baloney Network and make others pay for your misfortune.
One of the best spots to land on the whole board is the “tithing tax”. If you land on this spot collect 10% of all your opponents earnings. They do not have the option of giving freely or else a curse will come upon their finances and they will be forced into poverty.
The next spot on the board is the $10 Church parking. If you happen to land on this spot you are very fortunate. You get to collect all the money that’s been collected for all of those who have paid for parking. So grab that money out of that pot, and don’t forget to stop and smell the aroma of cold hard cash in the palm of your hand.
Last but not least. One of the most coveted places on the board are the private jets. What would a televangelist do without their jet? It’s almost like a circuit riding preacher without a horse. So go around the board and collect them all! These jets have been chose by many of the world famous televangelists around the world.
Well, that’s the end of the official rules. The number one rule is have fun and put on that smile even though you are robbing all of your opponents of their money.