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televangelists

Tithing is For Liberals

07/14/16 by Jared Brian 13 Comments

hillary's logo used for liberal tithing

I love politics and philosophical debates about it, so right off the bat, i am NOT apologizing – this will offend many of you (Republicans & Democrats, Liberals & Conservatives). If you are a pansy and can’t take logic and reason, then go suck on a pacifier.

Laws Are For Thee But Not For Me

Hillary-pointing-at-you-all

Liberals want to put the people under a set of laws while they themselves would be under a different set. Take the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) for example. They rammed that junk down our throats and made a bunch of promises they couldn’t keep. Heck, they didn’t even keep the most appealing and obvious promises to us. our healthcare costs went up and we lost our doctors.

They also put on restrictions for small businesses and threatened them with fines and fees. Of course, they exempted themselves and their staff from particular laws because they couldn’t afford the costs of it. Such a lovely thing to do!

Let’s transition to tithing. Particularly, those who preach about tithing. They stand behind a pulpit and quote bible verses calling out pestilence and destruction if they don’t give exactly 10.00% on the dot. I always gave 10.50% because I was worried I may have missed something and the tithing boogie man was going to come out of the closet and tear up my valuable baseball card collection.

Anywhoooo. So um. yeah back to tithing preachers . . . Here they are preaching about your requirement to tithing and how you need to support the pastor and the Church because it’s an obligation. While on the other hand, they have not once been under an obligation to serve God as a requirement. They are completely free to start a ministry and preach by the grace and freewill Spirit of God. No one pointed a gun at their head and told them that they must minister to these people otherwise the boogeyman will come and get them.

The church ministry itself is under the leading and calling of the Holy Spirit. If the church wanted to minister downtown, it can. If it wanted to minister to the homeless, it was free to do so. If the Church wanted to minister to rich people, then by all accounts and measure it was up to the leaders and the Holy Spirit to guide in that direction.

No one threatened the Church to minister here nor there. There was no obligation to do such and such. We also know that because, in all honesty, the Church is doing jack squat anyway. I put myself in that category as well. I am hardly doing anything to impact those around me.

Tithing Enables Jacka_ _ _ _

donkey

Tithing could be why there is so much Christian fraud out there. We are gullible sheep going into the slaughterhouse. Our motivation is fear, not joy. Obligation, not grace. Duty, not love.

There are televangelists who get on TV and demand your penance. They promise things that they have no authority nor power to promise. They fly in jets have huge mansions and pretend that your sacrifice is bringing glory to God and not making their wallet any fatter. They are not the only examples. Only the obvious ones.

All they have to do is declare themselves worthy of the office they tell you they were called to, and in return, you have no choice but to support God’s anointed.

Liberals Love Taxes

dollar bills in a mouse trap

Tithing is a tax and we all know that liberals love taxes. If you study tithing in the Old Testament, you will know that it was a tax for Israel. Tithing was used to pay for the bureaucratic side of things as much as it was to pay for the religious.

The way I see it, there are three categories of people when it comes to taxes and tithing.

  1. The Enforcer: Responsible for setting the rules and enforcing them upon others. This would be a congressman or your pastor
  2. The Receiver: Those who are privileged enough to receive the benefits of the tax or tithe. This could be the enforcer or it could be the receiver and would resemble the poor and lower class.
  3. The Payer: These guys foot the bill. They aren’t in charge of setting the rules and neither do they benefit from them. This would be the middle class or it would those sitting in the pews.

The ultra-rich have no problem paying their taxes. They have the resources and capabilities to hedge against losses. They either have large tax write-offs or can protect their assets in other ways. In the same way, the ultra-rich love tithing. Only 10%? This would be a tax write-off anyway and they get to look so benevolent and great for donating hundreds of thousands or millions. Must be nice to donate a small percentage of your salary and get the most credit.

In 2008 a study on Giving Statistics was done on church spending to show that 85% of the money went to internal operations. Want to know something very ironic about a current liberal friend? The Clinton Foundation (a non-profit) raised 500 million dollars between 2009-2012 and consumed 85% of its donations on internal operations (source)? How do you like that my conservative, evangelical friends who abhor anything Clinton? The Church is using its donations no more wisely than the Clinton Foundation is. Just think about your own Church budget next time you criticize the Clinton Foundation.

Taxes are a mandatory burden and so is tithing. No matter how many different ways I hear it spun in sermons. IT IS STILL A TAX! Pastors will try to put some new age, progressive-sounding spin on it saying that we tithe under grace instead of under the law, or that the New Testament always raises standards, or that we get to tithing but we don’t have to. All of these statements are just placing the sheep’s wool over the wolf to trick you into believing that a rule that looks like the Law, smells like the Law, and acts like the Law, somehow is not the Old Testament Law.

Tithing = Anarchy

Anarchy

Any individual has the ability to stand up and say, “God is calling me to start a ministry”. At that moment, believers then would be required to tithe. Why? Because of the simple fact of their existence. Doesn’t this seem absurd? If you have not seen John Oliver’s example on Comedy Central, the absurdity of what I’m saying is not far off

Levites were required to serve due to their bloodline and in turn, the Israelites were required to give to them because of their own bloodline. Each were bound by the same authority, the same set of laws, and the same stringent legal system. The Levites were bound by the law to serve while being supported by a structure that also bound the givers.

Let’s take an example – The Constitution. The constitution gives authority and direction to Congress, while in turn, the constitution is also the authority that tells supporters how to pay and elect them. Congressmen can’t be free from the constitution to run the country however they please and yet use the constitution (that they themselves aren’t bound to) to enforce others to pay for their ideas. This dysfunctional model would reap major corruption and scandal. The same goes for the gospel. God’s Spirit gives authority and direction to ministers, while in turn, the Holy Spirit is also the authority that tells supporters how to pay and who to elect. Ministers cannot use the law (that they themselves aren’t bound to) to enforce payment for ideas that came from God’s Spirit.

The Bible says that the apostles lived from the Gospel because they preached from the gospel. What does this mean? Does it mean that they lived off the tithe? Did they invoke the Priesthood and Levitical covenant and then expected that they receive the same compensation that they preached upon? Maybe it just means they ate the paper from their scrolls? Or could it mean that they lived off the gospel in the same way in which they were called by the Gospel? A Levite was commissioned by the Law and received their living from the Law. A pastor was commissioned by the Holy Spirit and should receive their living from the Holy Spirit.

Allowing the Spirit to call ministers and allowing the Spirit to call supporters will promote accountability and deter corruption and scandal.

Conclusion

I apologize to all my liberal friends. I congratulate you if you’ve gotten through this post without having an anxiety attack. Go hug a tree and see a social worker for counseling services. You should feel better sometime tonight after you’ve eaten your soy dinner. For my conservative tithing friends. I congratulate you as well. You are now considered the thing you abhorred the most – a Liberal! You’ll feel better after watching a few episodes of Hannity tonight. Keep applying the rules to everyone but yourself, allow the jackasses to rule the media, and keep promoting anarchy since tithing is for liberals.

If you’re bored and want to read the other “Tithing Is For” Series. Here are the links

  • Tithing Is For Sissies
  • Tithing is For Pagans
  • Tithing is for The Walking Dead
  • Tithing is for Dummies

Filed Under: Tithing & Giving Tagged With: Affordable Care Act, Anarchy, Conservative, Constitution, Hillary Clinton, holy spirit, John Oliver, law, Liberals, Obamacare, televangelists

HBO Speaks the Truth About Televangelists

08/17/15 by Jared Brian 2 Comments

hbo logo

There’s more truth in this video on HBO by a comedian about the sad state of the Church than i’ve seen come from a pulpit. You may not like the vulgarity in some parts, be warned. The truth hurts sometimes, and it offends you, then go back to Sunday School flannel board teaching for 3 year olds

There are 15 truths that were spoken by the HBO comedian that i extracted. I have paraphrased them below. I have written some notes right under some of the truths.

Truth #1: You don’t get to spout out a bunch of jibberish and then say you’re not making this up

Sam ba daka doosh finne bla bla bla tonge jibberish is so detrimental to the validity of the message of the Gospel that it’s become the butt of jokes to believers and non-believers alike. Most of these televangelists speak in tongues on public and international airwaves not becaus there’s something so important to say that they can’t find the words to say it. They speak in this babel because every word and deed they do is solely for the purpose of duping ignorant people.

Truth #2: Saying, ‘You cannot stop me” is not a reason to ask for a 65 million dollar jet

Even non-believers can see how selfish these televangelists are.

Truth #3: After they purchase their private jets, they aren’t even humble about it

Let’s just say that God told these televangelists to buy the jet, did he also tell them to brag about it, and be haughty and boastful?

Truth #4: You’d be better off burying your money in the ground than investing in the televangelists.

Truth #5: The target of these preachers are vulnerable people

If an HBO comedian can see this, then why don’t we?

Truth #6: Seed faith is the most disgusting seed-based concept

Wow! Just wow! This is a non-believer portraying his disgust for individuals that claim to be in our circle. As believers, we whine and complain how peaceful Muslims don’t call out those who use their religion to terrorize, and yet here are we, sitting on our flippin hands.

Truth #7: Almost anything thought or belief can be considered a religion

So sad that just because there’s a steeple, a pulpit, and a pastor, that thieves can stand on stage and use the bible to require donations just because of their existence.

Truth #8: Why is the copeland’s 6 million home considered a parsonage and is tax exempt?

Truth #9: the odds of a church being audited are the same as gloria copeland curing your cancer

Truth #10: When you are able to operate with so little oversight, it is amazing at what you can get away with.

Forget oversignt. When these scam artists can operate without the church chasing them down and burning all their belongings in an exorcism is amazing to me.

Truth #11: The Televangelists run a complex scam

In the video you will see how the comedian had letters sent back and forth to a televangelist. You will see how organized and planned out their little scheme is.

Truth #12: This is all hilarious until you image someone who cannot afford to be swindled into giving their money

Nuff said.

Truth #13: the false preachers are sending a message to setup a church in order to test the legal and financial limits of what religious entities ought to do.

Truth # 14: We’re not interested in your seed, we’re interested in your money

Nuff said.

Truth #15: Amazingly, this is all legal

The shocker isn’t that it is legal, but that it should be illegal and yet churches, who represent God, are actually practicing it.

Filed Under: Church Financial Operations Tagged With: creflo dollar, Gloria Copeland, HBO, John Oliver, kenneth copeland, Mike Murdock, Robert Tilton, televangelists

Benny Hinn Scandal

03/25/08 by Jared Brian 15 Comments

For those of you who want to know why Senator Grassley is investigating the Benny Hinn Scandal, here is a video that shows how Benny Hinn likes to spend God’s money. For those of you who are giving money to this Benny Hinn Scandal, you are just as guilty because you are empowering him. Here is a video also on the Paula White Scandal.

Filed Under: Videos Tagged With: benny hinn, scandal, senator grassley, tbn, televangelists

Investigating Televangelist Finances

02/16/08 by Jared Brian 7 Comments

a picture of televangelists on dollar bills with a microscope hovering over them.

I’m sure these slimy little weasels have covered their tracks with their finances. I mean they have enough money to hide anything. Here is the article on US News. US News stated that these “religious” organizations’ complaint is two-fold, “that the IRS, not Congress, is the proper body to investigate tax matters related to religious groups, and that the focus on members of the Prosperity movement is discriminatory and threatens their First Amendment rights.”

What makes them think that their luxurious lifestyles don’t send up a red flag? They are just plain foolish in their logic. Who should congress be discriminatory of? Maybe they should investigate the poor old ladies that have devoted their life savings to these organizations. These poor old ladies don’t get investigated cause they don’t flaunt their stuff! Who should congress pick on if these money-raking fools can’t take the heat? I guess congress should just pick ministries out of their black hat that they should investigate. Oh yeah, i guess that goes the same way with everything. We should just pull names out of a hat when we investigate the steroid problem in baseball. Of course, Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco, and Mark McGuire are gonna get investigated, for the simple fact that they turned into big huge monsters and their batting numbers showed it.

So deal with the discrimination, Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyers, and Kenneth Copeland cause the rest of the world does!

Filed Under: News Tagged With: benny hinn, creflo dollar, finances, kenneth copeland, televangelists, us news

Introducing the TELEVANGOLY Board Game

12/05/07 by Jared Brian 6 Comments

First, Choose your Edition

Moyce Jeyer Edition

joyce meyer board game

Cope Kenland Edition

Ken Copeland Board Game

Dreflo Collar Edition

Creflo Dollar Board Game

Henny Binn Edition

Benny Hinn Board Game

(CLICK TO ENLARGE AND SEE DETAILS)

Now, Choose your game pieces

copelandpiece.jpg
creflopiece.jpg
hinnpiece.jpg
joycepiece.jpg

Finally, Start Playing

boardlarge

 (Click board to ENLARGE and see details)

Official Rules of Televangoly
The object of the game televangoly of course is to gain as much money and property as possible. Players must choose their favorite game piece and roll the dice to go around the board. If you are caught for tax fraud, go directly to jail, do not pass go do not collect your million dollars. The first person to monopolize the game and take everyone’s money is the winner. Now remember that your opponents are just sowing their seed to you, so make sure you give them a 1-800 number to call and pledge.

If you land on community plate, this is an opportunity for you to capitalize on all of the gifts that have been pouring into your ministry. So pick a community plate card off the board, and cross your fingers. If you land on chance, you have an opportunity to pick a card from the “chance” pile. Remember these can be good and bad cards. But if you get a bad and owe some money, you can always hold a pimp-a-thon on the Total Baloney Network and make others pay for your misfortune.

One of the best spots to land on the whole board is the “tithing tax”. If you land on this spot collect 10% of all your opponents earnings. They do not have the option of giving freely or else a curse will come upon their finances and they will be forced into poverty.

The next spot on the board is the $10 Church parking. If you happen to land on this spot you are very fortunate. You get to collect all the money that’s been collected for all of those who have paid for parking. So grab that money out of that pot, and don’t forget to stop and smell the aroma of cold hard cash in the palm of your hand.

Last but not least. One of the most coveted places on the board are the private jets. What would a televangelist do without their jet? It’s almost like a circuit riding preacher without a horse. So go around the board and collect them all! These jets have been chose by many of the world famous televangelists around the world.

Well, that’s the end of the official rules. The number one rule is have fun and put on that smile even though you are robbing all of your opponents of their money.

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: televangelists

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