First, Choose your Edition
Moyce Jeyer Edition
Cope Kenland Edition
Dreflo Collar Edition
Henny Binn Edition
(CLICK TO ENLARGE AND SEE DETAILS)
Now, Choose your game pieces
Finally, Start Playing
(Click board to ENLARGE and see details)
Official Rules of Televangoly
The object of the game televangoly of course is to gain as much money and property as possible. Players must choose their favorite game piece and roll the dice to go around the board. If you are caught for tax fraud, go directly to jail, do not pass go do not collect your million dollars. The first person to monopolize the game and take everyone’s money is the winner. Now remember that your opponents are just sowing their seed to you, so make sure you give them a 1-800 number to call and pledge.
If you land on community plate, this is an opportunity for you to capitalize on all of the gifts that have been pouring into your ministry. So pick a community plate card off the board, and cross your fingers. If you land on chance, you have an opportunity to pick a card from the “chance” pile. Remember these can be good and bad cards. But if you get a bad and owe some money, you can always hold a pimp-a-thon on the Total Baloney Network and make others pay for your misfortune.
One of the best spots to land on the whole board is the “tithing tax”. If you land on this spot collect 10% of all your opponents earnings. They do not have the option of giving freely or else a curse will come upon their finances and they will be forced into poverty.
The next spot on the board is the $10 Church parking. If you happen to land on this spot you are very fortunate. You get to collect all the money that’s been collected for all of those who have paid for parking. So grab that money out of that pot, and don’t forget to stop and smell the aroma of cold hard cash in the palm of your hand.
Last but not least. One of the most coveted places on the board are the private jets. What would a televangelist do without their jet? It’s almost like a circuit riding preacher without a horse. So go around the board and collect them all! These jets have been chose by many of the world famous televangelists around the world.
Well, that’s the end of the official rules. The number one rule is have fun and put on that smile even though you are robbing all of your opponents of their money.
Very Sad, but how true! I once thought I stood alone on the tithing and money issues of today. Thank you very much for your outspokenness. I’m not so alone anymore!
Calvin
Even though I am in agreement with most, if not all,of your positions on tithing and giving, I urge caution in passing judgment or ridiculing men and women of God that may currently be misguided, in sin or believing lies about “mammon”. David had many opportunities to lash back at Saul, but as Saul was God’s anointed, he dared not lift a finger against him for the fear of God. As in your position on Spirit-led giving, I want to urge you to practice Spirit-led correction of your brothers and sisters. May God bless you and your ministry.
Sorry Mic, I know this post does seem overboard and out of line. I wouldn’t lift a finger against these people, but i would speak out against them. I guess i feel its personal opinion on whether or not humor is the right way to do that. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me about it instead of just letting it go.
-Jared
Nothing seems to be easier than seeing someone whom you can help but not helping.
I suggest we start giving it a try. Give love to the ones that need it.
God will appreciate it.
Love it. As to the “don’t touch God’s anointed ” I think it’s safe to say that these Prosperity Gospel wolves are not God’s chosen. The board game is hilarious. What’s not is the false teaching and how they fleece the flock for their own greed. They may think they’re sincere but they’re sincerely wrong.
The TV preachers are to blame only for their greed. Their continuing existence is the fault of the fearful who keep supporting them. If this gutless pew-fodder would accept that life ends in death the preachers would disappear. To those who give money to these con artists, remember this: just because you were born gives you no right to immortality, and no one knows what happens after death. Accept this and deal with it!