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Home / Articles / Videos / Everybody in the Church Start Tithing

Everybody in the Church Start Tithing

by Jared Brian

Another tithing rap. The lyrics to the rap are written below. I did as best i could with my dictation. If anyone can help with corrections or with the empty blanks, feel free to input it into the comments.

Not Tithing is very bad, but I got some ballin members though.

Yeah.  Yeah. Yeah. Everybody here with me.

One, here comes the two, to the three, and the four.
Ushers passing plates down your row.
Baby keep your change cause I know you got more.
Turn her purse over, all the money on the floor.
Must be the hurt that I preach hardcore,
or maybe that you can’t buy my sermon in the stores.
______sermon leave by the door.
I gotta get the game on move out the door.

Don’t try to play me cause I aint the one.
The metal device will detect the  ______.
When you come to my church we have fun.
But if you don’t tithe player you better run.
I’m back in my study trying to count what was done.
Hold up lady where is she coming from?
She come talking about what her money done.
Change your attitude now cause you aint being nothing.

Everybody in the Church Start Tithing.
Everybody in the Church Start Tithing.
Everybody in the Church Start Tithing.
Everybody in the Church Start Tithing.

It’s true. If I keep preaching they stay I know it’s fine.
Now I’m seeing sleep when all my members tithe.
Some more days pass and now it’s almost Friday.
Now they talking about how much they hate their job.
Ya’ll need to work so you can pay God.
You gotta be the key that leaves husband and wife.
The fellowship hall has sweet potato pie.
I hope you all don’t think I’m a preacher all night.
If you all think that, then that’s a bunch of lies.

Here comes a member _______ down his shoes.
Cover that toe cause the little one is new.
Get your wallet out cause the sermon is  ________.
We have more than one collection, we got two.
Don’t get caught staring up at my at my jewels.
You gotta a nice step on my alligator shoes.
All my suit got matching shoes.

Everybody in the Church Start Tithing.
Everybody in the Church Start Tithing.
Everybody in the Church Start Tithing.
Everybody in the Church Start Tithing.

Alright, we gonna stand up and come down the center aisle. Ushers, if you can bring em from the back, bring them down to the center. Start it from the back.

Related posts:

  1. Twas the Pimp before Christmas
  2. The 12 Step Program: Tithers Anonymous
  3. Tithing is for Pagans
  4. How to Know You’ve Won a Tithing Debate

Filed Under: Videos Tagged With: rap

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Ben says

    Paul’s Teaching on Giving
    2 Corinthians 8:6-13
    The apostle Paul was not bashful to teach on Christian giving for the cause he was involved in. In the 2 Corinthian letter, he was specifically encouraging the Corinthians to participate in systematic giving to the offering that he was planning to take to the Jerusalem saints. We can learn several principles from his teaching:
    1. All giving should be done cheerfully and not grudgingly, for God will bless the cheerful giver (v. 7)
    2. We want to sow bountifully that we might reap bountifully. This nullifies the “Christian giver” argument some make of giving without expectation of a return on our giving from the Lord (v. 6)
    3. Consistent givers will come to have an abundance (more than enough) for every good work (v.8). God wants them to expect this from Him in faith.
    4. God is the supplier of the seed to the sower, and He multiplies the seed you have sown (v. 10). In other words, we sow/give in seed form, trusting the Lord to multiply our giving for both the cause in which we give, and the fruits of righteousness in the giver.
    5. The giver will become enriched…for all liberality (v. 11). It is God’s plan to enrich the giver to make them a liberal giver as a lifestyle.
    6. Liberal sharing should be the definition of a liberal in our country. This shows that the church of Jesus Christ has failed in it’s giving in the U.S, for a liberal in our country has become known as a taker of involuntary taxes who is a conservative giver in the church. A conservative has become known as someone who wants to lower involuntary taxes and give more in the church. When the church of Jesus Christ in America is giving according to the apostle Paul’s teaching, a person who increases taxes for government programs will become known as a conservative in Christian giving, and a person who campaigns to lower taxes for greater voluntary Christian giving will become known as a liberal, according to the apostles definitions.

    Reply

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